Sunday May 4th

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May the 4th be with your paycheck, and also with our soon-to-be nuclear-proof economy.

Good morning, patriots. It’s that special time of year where Star Wars memes flood your timeline, but this week in America feels a lot less sci-fi and a lot more finally-some-common-sense. Let’s get into it.

First off, Americans overwhelmingly agree on something for once—if you’re a criminal U.S. citizen, El Salvador’s “hellhole” prison might just be your next all-inclusive destination. If you can’t follow the rules here, it’s time to vacation with MS-13. One-way ticket. No carry-on.

Meanwhile, Trump’s “Golden Age” is officially underway, according to his Labor Secretary, and apparently it’s putting more money in your pocket—unless the IRS gets there first. Yes, the IRS claims tax collection is up 5% this year, which could mean government efficiency or just better-trained pickpockets. Hard to say.

Temu has slammed the brakes on shipments from China, so if you were hoping to buy a $2 hoodie made of asbestos and broken dreams, you’re out of luck. It’s probably good news for U.S. manufacturing, bad news for anyone who enjoys shirts that self-destruct in the wash.

Mark your calendars: Trump turns 79 next month, and he’s celebrating the way every great American leader should—with a massive military parade featuring 6,600 troops, 50 helicopters, and one Commander-in-Chief who still has better energy than most on TikTok.

And if you thought that was bold, Trump’s plan for a “Golden Dome” to shield America from nuclear attacks is moving forward. Critics call it expensive, Trump calls it “invincibility on a budget.” Honestly, we’ve wasted more money on gender studies in Pakistan.

And then there’s RFK Jr., who’s now going full X-Files, claiming geoengineering and chemtrails are “a crime against humanity.” He’s promising to hunt down whoever’s filling jet fuel with mystery dust and bring them to justice. Your move, Delta.

So whether you're stocking up on gold, ditching Temu, or just praying RFK doesn't start live-streaming from a bunker, remember—America is still the best reality show on Earth.

Stay sharp. Stay sovereign. And as always… spend wisely.

POLL TIME: Be honest…

You walk into a ‘casual-dining establishment’, order at the counter, grab your own napkins, pour your own drink, and then—BAM—there’s a screen asking if you want to tip 25% for the honor of standing up while waiting for your own food.

Todays Mood:

The Rundown This Week:

Buffett’s Market Tip? Don’t Panic, Basically.

While Wall Street’s been riding the 2025 rollercoaster—complete with 20% drops and tariff-fueled mood swings—Warren Buffett is out here calmly sipping Cherry Coke and dropping wisdom. His “simple rule” for market chaos? Stay calm, buy quality, and ignore the noise. Translation: Don’t YOLO into meme stocks because of one bad Tuesday. As the Dow, S&P, and Nasdaq keep flopping like a fish on a hot sidewalk, Buffett reminds investors that patience, not panic, is still undefeated.

Trump Declares “More Winning” as Wall Street Eats Up Surprise Jobs Report

Wall Street just staged a comeback worthy of a campaign ad, thanks to April’s jobs report that crushed expectations like a soggy CNN poll. Employers added 177,000 jobs—well above the 135,000 forecast—and markets rallied hard, wiping out most of the damage from Trump’s so-called “Liberation Day” tariff splash. Naturally, Trump took a victory lap on Truth Social, proclaiming, “We’re just getting started.” The White House echoed the optimism, touting rising wages and more Americans back in the workforce. Looks like the economy got the memo: Trump’s in charge, and the only thing falling this week... was pessimism.

Moo-ved to Tears: America’s Next Pandemic Might Start on a Farm

Just when you thought things couldn’t get weirder, health “experts” are now warning that bird flu—yes, bird flu—has gone full tour bus and hit all 50 states. It’s spreading from cows to humans faster than a Biden gaffe, with nearly 1,000 infected dairy herds and over 70 human cases reported. One fatality has experts panicking and issuing the same “flatten the curve” vibes we all loved the first time. The poultry industry is officially on red alert, mostly because chickens don’t do social distancing. Meanwhile, real Americans are just trying to afford eggs without selling a kidney. Buckle up, folks—2025 is already off to a viral start, and not the funny kind.

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Bills or Breakfast? The New American Budgeting Strategy

Happy Financial Literacy Month! Or as 1 in 4 Americans now call it: "Which bill do I ignore so I can eat?" According to Experian, nearly 23% of U.S. adults are drowning in “unmanageable” debt—AKA, the kind where you debate between paying off your credit card or buying toilet paper. The quiet debt crisis is getting louder, and with inflation still pretending it doesn’t exist, many Americans are just one surprise bill away from full financial meltdown. But hey, at least we’re literally learning the cost of living.

Trump’s Tax Cuts: Coming Back Like a July 4th Firework Show

With the economy shrinking 0.3% in Q1 and inflation still lurking like an unwanted house guest, Trump’s signature 2017 tax cuts are gearing up for a comeback tour. Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent says the goal is a “signed, sealed, and delivered” tax bill by Independence Day—because nothing says economic freedom like paying less to a government that spends more. Lawmakers are reportedly working in “lockstep,” which in D.C. means only semi-chaotic. The 2018-2019 economy got a real boost from those cuts—even during COVID—so if you're wondering what might light a fire under GDP this time, it’s probably not tariffs. It’s taxes going down.

What Else You Might’ve Missed:

Work Hard, Die Faster: Banker’s Organs Quit Before His Boss Did

At Robert W. Baird, the hustle culture allegedly hit a new low—one junior trader reportedly clocked 110-hour weeks until his pancreas gave up and tapped out. The kicker? Instead of, say, helping him recover, his bosses allegedly fired him. Because nothing says "team player" like working until 4am, collapsing from exhaustion, and getting canned for it. Forget bonuses—apparently, all you get for loyalty now is organ failure and a LinkedIn update.

Economic Special: Hold the Fries, Keep the Uncertainty

When Americans start ghosting the Dollar Menu, you know things are getting real. McDonald’s just reported a rare sales dip—global comps down 1%, with U.S. sales falling 3.6%—as economic anxiety tightens wallets harder than a McFlurry machine during rush hour. Analysts expected a slight bump, but instead, consumers are saying “no thanks” to drive-thru dinners and choosing to eat at home like it’s 2008 again. The Golden Arches might still shine, but for now, even fast food isn’t fast enough to outrun a slowing economy.

Amazon Dumps UPS—and 20,000 Jobs Get Delivered the Hard Way

UPS is trimming the fat—and by “fat,” we mean 20,000 jobs—after parting ways with its not-so-secret sugar daddy: Amazon. The e-commerce beast made up a hefty 12% of UPS’s revenue, but after the two split in January, UPS is now in full cost-cutting mode. Translation: fewer brown trucks, more brown boxes piling up somewhere else. For UPS workers, it’s a brutal break-up. For Amazon? Just another Tuesday of building its own delivery empire.

Buy Now, Starve Later? America’s Grocery Bill Just Hit a New Low

If you’re financing bananas, it might be time to admit we’ve got a problem. A new LendingTree poll says 1 in 4 American adults are now using Buy Now, Pay Later just to buy groceries—because nothing screams “healthy economy” like going into debt for a box of Cheerios. That’s up from just 14% last year, and 41% of those folks have already missed a payment. You read that right: people are defaulting on food. But don’t worry—according to the White House, everything’s totally fine and you’re just imagining the inflation.

The Fed’s $2.5B Glow-Up? Elon Says, “DOGE, Fetch the Receipts”

Elon Musk just dropped another truth bomb—this time aimed at the Fed’s interior design budget. While most Americans are choosing between rent and ramen, the Federal Reserve is allegedly spending $2.5 billion to make its headquarters look like a Bond villain’s spa. Musk, still moonlighting as the Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) figurehead, called on the agency to investigate how deep the Fed’s renovation rabbit hole really goes. “It’s taxpayer money,” he said. Translation: if we’re broke, they don’t get new curtains.

Footlong Recession: Subway Quietly Eats Itself

America’s most famous sandwich chain is slowly becoming a collector’s item. Subway just shuttered another 631 locations, marking its 8th straight year of saying “no thanks” to rent payments. For the first time in two decades, the U.S. now has fewer than 20,000 Subways—down from its 2015 glory days when they were basically competing with Starbucks to occupy every street corner and gas station bathroom. Turns out, $12 bread with yoga mat chemicals isn’t the draw it used to be. But don’t worry—those 27 different mayo options will live on in our memories (and our arteries).

3 Events That Could Impact Your Wallet Next Week: 🗓️

Closing Thoughts:

Trump’s First 100 Days – The Good, The Not-So-Good, and the MAGA

We’ve officially hit the 100-day mark of Trump’s second term—and like any great comeback tour, it’s been loud, unapologetic, and wildly effective (depending on who you ask). But here at RedState Finance, we like to deal in facts, not feelings. So let’s break it down: has it been good, bad, or just plain Trump?

The Good:
Jobs are back. April’s jobs report crushed expectations, with 177,000 new gigs added and wages rising. Wall Street responded with a full-blown rally, wiping out the losses from “Liberation Day” and restoring some faith in the market. Trump’s team is calling it the beginning of a “Golden Age,” and for once, the numbers aren’t disagreeing.

The tax cuts are coming back, and if you liked keeping more of your paycheck in 2018, you’ll probably love the 2025 reboot. Trump’s pushing for a July 4th signing, and businesses are already prepping for a friendlier IRS.

He’s also doubling down on national security—a 6,600-troop birthday parade and a Golden Dome to block nukes? Some call it overkill. We call it thinking ahead.

The Not-So-Good:
Let’s be real: the economy contracted 0.3% in Q1. Not a freefall, but not ideal either. Critics say it’s a warning sign. Supporters say it's just a data blip caused by tariff panic and import hoarding. Either way, it’s not the momentum you want out of the gate.

And while Trump has never been known for subtlety, the rhetoric-to-results ratio could use tightening. There's still uncertainty around China trade talks, and some businesses are holding back investment while they wait to see how it all plays out.

Also, can we talk about the communication strategy? One minute it’s “historic success,” the next it’s finger-pointing at Biden-era holdovers. Mixed messaging won’t fix inflation—or convince independents.

Our Grade?
We give it a solid B+. Not perfect. But when you consider the economy Biden left behind, a 20% market swing, and global instability, the bounce-back is impressive. Add in serious tax reform, a revitalized labor market, and the return of unapologetic American strength? That’s a strong start by any standard.

But what do you think?
Are we witnessing the start of Trump’s economic Golden Age—or just a really flashy warm-up? Hit reply and let us know your take. We’ll feature the best ones in next week’s edition.