Sunday June 8th

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Well… we had a perfectly respectable intro written for you.

But then all hell broke loose—again. The kind of chaos you watch unfold like a slow-motion car crash: entertaining? Sure. Embarrassing? Absolutely. Good for America? Not even close. Good for Republicans? Let’s just say… we’ve had better weeks.

From tariff tantrums to a “Trump Burger” that’s triggering both the libs and your cholesterol, the past few days have been a masterclass in how not to run a country (or a restaurant). And while we kind of always knew this storm was coming, the real question is: how do we fix it? Because duct tape and tax cuts probably aren’t gonna cut it this time.

Meanwhile, the headlines keep rolling in like a bad soap opera marathon:

• Trump’s 50% tariffs on steel and aluminum just took effect—so buckle up, importers. And yes, other countries are now expected to grovel with “offers.” Very diplomatic.

• Private sector hiring? Just 37,000 jobs added in May. That’s the lowest in over two years, according to ADP. So if you feel like the economy's walking with a limp... you're not wrong.

• Mortgage rates? Up for the third straight week, flirting with 7% again. First-time homebuyers, just keep scrolling.

• Beef prices? Record highs. Cattle supply? Collapsing. Relief? Don’t count on it. Time to find a new protein—or grow emotionally attached to lentils.

• Your retirement account? Yeah… balances dipped in Q1. But hey, at least Americans are still contributing. Blind optimism is our last remaining national currency.

• And finally, the pièce de résistance: the Trump Burger. Equal parts MAGA memorabilia and meat sweats. Some say it’s a bold branding move. Others say it’s heartburn with a side of culture war.

So grab your coffee (or something stronger), because this week’s financial chaos tastes a little like burnt beef and economic indigestion.

Poll Time: BREAKING: Pay-Per-View Just Got Political
Forget GDP and Fed rates—Trump vs. Musk might be the only heavyweight battle that could break the internet and the economy. If these two squared up in the ring, who’s walking out with the belt (and who’s tweeting from the mat)?

Todays Mood:

The Rundown This Week:

Tesla Tanks While Elon Throws Twitter Punches at Trump

Elon Musk just lost $34 billion in a single day—proof that even the world’s richest man isn’t immune to running headfirst into a Trump-shaped wall. The tech titan went full keyboard warrior this week, trading digital jabs with President Trump. The result? Tesla stock face-planted 14%, and Musk’s net worth took a historic nosedive to a measly $334.5 billion.

According to Bloomberg, it’s the second-biggest wealth drop ever recorded.

Costco Breaks Fuel Sales Records—Because Apparently We're Living There Now

Costco just proved that if you keep your gas stations open long enough, Americans will literally line up like it’s Black Friday at the pump. After extending gas station hours and opening new locations, the retailer reported two record-breaking weeks of fuel sales in April.

CEO Ron Vachris credited the boom to “expanded hours, more stations, and lower prices”—aka the exact opposite of what Washington is doing. In a world where gas prices are usually a guessing game between pain and regret, Costco said, “Hold my 48-pack of hot dogs.”

Eggs Drop 61% Since Trump Took Office—Finally, Breakfast Isn’t a Luxury

Great news, America: Eggflation is officially over. Since President Trump returned to the Oval, the price of a dozen large white eggs has plummeted 61%, from a wallet-wounding $6.49 in January to a slightly more yolk-friendly $2.52.

Blame it on increased imports, recovering bird flu supply, or divine intervention—but either way, breakfast is back. Eggs were going for over $8 in March, meaning your omelet was once flirting with steakhouse prices. Now? You can afford to crack a few without checking your 401(k) first.

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Red State Finance Opinion: Look—we know your time’s valuable. You’ve got 1,440 minutes in a day, and if you’re spending even one of them reading mainstream media spin, you’re already in the red. That’s why we recommend 1440—a daily news briefing that actually respects your brain. No fluff. No partisan garbage. Just the facts. Economy, markets, science, culture—it’s all in one quick read that cuts through the noise.

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How Much Should You Have Saved for Retirement? Spoiler: It’s Probably Not Enough

According to the financial wizards at T. Rowe Price, if you’re in your 30s, 50s, or 60s and hoping to retire before the robots fully take over, you better have a pile of cash stashed away. Like, a big pile.

• By your mid-30s, you should have at least 1x your salary saved. That’s $70K if you make $70K. (Translation: stop buying lattes and hope your 401(k) hasn’t been nuked by inflation.)

• In your 50s? Aim for 3.5x to 5.5x your annual income. That’s up to $550K if you make $100K. (Also known as: “how do you feel about working weekends?”)

• And if you’re in your 60s and dreaming of retirement, you’ll need somewhere between 7.5x and 13.5x your income saved. For a $120K salary, that’s up to $1.62 million—because Social Security’s just going to be a polite suggestion by then.

Also, fun fact: 64% of Americans now fear outliving their money more than death itself. Which makes sense—because one lasts forever, the other feels like it already has.

Fetterman Admits What Every Democrat’s Been Dodging: Biden’s Border Was a Disaster

In what might be the first moment of clarity from the left in years, Sen. John Fetterman (D-PA) finally said the quiet part out loud: Democrats completely bungled the border under Biden. Shocking, we know.

During a fiery debate with Republican Sen. Dave McCormick, Fetterman told a Fox Nation audience that allowing millions of migrants to pour across the border was “a mistake”—one that handed Republicans a political gift wrapped in red, white, and way too many open crossings.

Maybe it’s the hoodie talking, but Fetterman appears to be the only Democrat willing to say what most Americans already know: The border crisis isn’t just real—it was a mess of their own making.

What Else You Might’ve Missed:

Poland Goes Populist: Trump-Inspired Conservative Shocks EU Elites

Europe just got a wake-up call—straight from Warsaw. In a nail-biter of an election, Karol Nawrocki, a Trump-style conservative and proud eurosceptic, pulled off a stunning upset to become Poland’s next president, edging out liberal mayor Rafal Trzaskowski with 50.89% of the vote.

Backed by Poland’s Law and Justice Party, Nawrocki now holds the power to veto his globalist Prime Minister’s EU-friendly agenda, much to the horror of Brussels bureaucrats. Translation: Poland just slammed the brakes on forced European integration and doubled down on sovereignty, border control, and national identity.

The message is loud and clear—from D.C. to the Danube: Populism isn’t fading. It's winning.

CNN’s Christiane Amanpour Compares Trump’s America to North Korea

Multi-millionaire CNN royalty Christiane Amanpour says she’s terrified to visit the U.S. under President Trump—because giving a speech at Harvard is apparently the same as sneaking across the DMZ into North Korea.

On a podcast with her ex (because of course), the 67-year-old globalist icon claimed traveling to America felt "scary" and compared it to a dictatorship—which is rich coming from someone who’s built a career reporting from actual authoritarian regimes.

Naturally, the internet responded the only way it knows how: mockery, memes, and a polite suggestion to stay wherever she feels safest—which clearly isn’t the country that gave her a platform and a fortune.

Aldi Slashes Prices on 400+ Items—Because Even Budget Shoppers Are Tapped Out

In a rare win for your wallet, Aldi just announced it's cutting prices on nearly 25% of its store—aka the summer miracle no one in Washington managed to deliver. With inflation still lurking and shoppers pulling back faster than a politician in a polygraph chair, the budget-friendly chain says Americans will save $100 million this summer across its 2,400+ stores.

Why the sudden generosity? Because even value shoppers are feeling the squeeze, and retail chains are scrambling to look like heroes while the economy gasps for air. So go ahead—grab that extra pack of hot dogs and pretend it's 2019 again. For now.

Trump Opens 13 Million Acres in Alaska—Because Energy > Bureaucracy

Drill, baby, drill is officially back. The Trump administration just announced plans to open 13 million acres of Alaskafor mining and energy development, reversing a Biden-era policy that basically required companies to file a 400-page novel before touching a shovel.

Interior Secretary Doug Burgum called out the previous rules for prioritizing “obstruction over production”, and he’s not wrong. Under Biden, these so-called “Special Areas” were practically locked behind red tape unless operators could prove their rigs made no noise, cast no shadows, and didn’t offend any local moss.

Now? The gloves are off. With energy prices still high and global tensions rising, Team Trump is pushing full-speed ahead on American energy independence—because depending on foreign oil while sitting on our own supply was never a winning strategy.

Judge Blocks Florida’s Kid-Safe Social Media Law—Big Tech Cheers, Parents Eye the Exit

Because apparently protecting kids from addictive algorithms and online chaos is now a First Amendment violation, a federal judge just put the brakes on Florida’s HB 3—a law that would've limited social media access for minors.

Judge Mark Walker sided with NetChoice and their Silicon Valley friends, ruling that the state can’t restrict what kids see online, even if it's coming from the digital equivalent of a dumpster fire. The ruling puts the law on hold while litigation plays out—because nothing says “urgent child safety issue” like years of court delays.

NetChoice called it a "victory for free speech." Translation: Big Tech wins again, and Florida Republicans are already prepping their appeal while parents are left wondering who exactly is looking out for their kids.

Forget Pools—Now It’s Padel Courts or You’re Basically Poor

In case you needed another reason to question your life choices, padel courts (yes, the tennis-pickleball hybrid you’ve never played) have become the newest status symbol for America’s ultra-rich. Because apparently a home isn't “luxury” unless it comes with its own boutique racket sport.

At 111 West 57th Street in Manhattan—aka the second-tallest “I’m richer than you” building in the Western Hemisphere—condos start at $20 million and go up to $110 million. And guess what’s driving sales? A private padel court. Not ocean views. Not security. Not gold faucets. Just a fancy place to lob a ball around.

Because nothing screams financial security like a $75 million penthouse and a sport no one can spell.

3 Events That Impact America Next Week: 🗓️

Closing Thoughts:

Where Did America’s Financial Literacy Go?

Here’s a hard truth: we’re the most financially illiterate developed country pretending to be rich.

We’re sitting on $34 trillion in national debt, racking up record-high credit card balances, and drowning young adults in student loans for degrees that don’t even guarantee a job. Meanwhile, entire households are financing groceriesthrough Buy Now, Pay Later apps like it’s a game of Monopoly. And kids? Some of them genuinely believe money is just digital numbers on Apple Pay.

So we ask: Where has it all gone wrong?

We stopped teaching basic financial principles. Budgeting, saving, compounding interest, debt discipline—gone from classrooms, replaced by TikTok influencers preaching "just manifest abundance." Government didn’t help either. When Washington prints trillions and calls it stimulus, or bails out bad decisions without consequence, it sets the tone: spend now, someone else will cover it.

Can this be fixed? That depends.
A recent TIAA Institute study found that only 37% of Americans could correctly answer basic financial literacy questions. Even worse—most think they’re doing better than they are. This isn't just a crisis in knowledge—it's a crisis in reality.

But it’s fixable.

• Start with mandatory financial education in high school—real lessons on credit, taxes, budgeting, and how the Fed actually works.

• End government programs that reward debt and punish savings.

• Promote ownership over entitlement—the idea that no one is coming to save you, and that’s okay.

• And yes, stop letting kids think Apple Pay is a magic money machine.

This country was built by people who knew how to stretch a dollar, invest for the long haul, and take personal responsibility. We don’t need more apps or bailouts. We need a return to common sense, hard work, and financial accountability.

Because if we don’t fix this now—we won’t need an economic collapse to destroy us… we’ll spend our way into one.