Sunday January 26th

Good morning, America—hope you’ve got your coffee ready because it’s been a week.

Trump is officially back in the White House, and we’re calling it—America is back. Executive Orders? They’ve been flying around faster than Kamala’s approval ratings plummeting. Hope has been restored, and let’s just say, the swamp is starting to drain.

For the ‘woke’ crowd, it’s been rough. DEI initiatives? Gone. Like a TikTok trend that overstayed its welcome. Meanwhile, the January 6 pardons came through, and the JFK docs were finally released—because, apparently, we can handle the truth. Oh, and speaking of government transparency (or lack thereof), a CIA document leaked, revealing they were ready to off Americans to justify war. Yeah, let that sink in.

In financial news, crypto had a busy week with whispers of a potential strategic reserve. And in the ultimate “budget tightening” move, Fauci’s security detail got cut—guess he’s rich enough to protect himself.

Over in New York and New Jersey, an earthquake rattled the region, leaving everyone wondering if Mother Nature is officially over coastal elites. FEMA’s possible demise was teased, Chicago’s broke school board president demanded a $154K chauffeured SUV (seriously?), and NYC celebrated a small win: five whole days without a shooting. Baby steps, right?

Meanwhile, CNN is laying off staff faster than you can say “no one’s watching,” and the first deportation flight under Trump 2.0 just took off. The swamp is officially on notice.

Cheers to making America great again (again)

Now that Trump is back in the Oval Office, we’re curious: how are you feeling about his grand return? Take our poll and let your opinions roll in (because, honestly, this is more fun than reading another think piece).

Mauricio Umansky, the real estate tycoon known for selling multimillion-dollar mansions to the ultra-wealthy, has a message for California politicians: put down the Twitter fingers and pick up a shovel. After wildfires left parts of Los Angeles County in ruins, Umansky is calling for some good ol’ teamwork between state and federal officials—yes, even if that means playing nice with Trump.

"Look, I get it—California and D.C. don’t exactly vibe," he told FOX Business. "But now’s not the time to argue about who didn’t text back first. We’ve got a city to rebuild."

His pitch? Less political drama, more actual fixing of stuff. Revolutionary, right?

Turns out, slashing corporate taxes isn’t the economic magic wand everyone thought it was. Who knew? The age-old debate over corporate tax rates is like watching a never-ending tug-of-war—one side swears lower taxes equal more jobs and investment, while the other side just dropped a plot twist: raising corporate taxes might actually boost the economy.

Wait, what? Yep, you read that right. According to emerging evidence, making corporations cough up more cash could be the secret recipe for economic growth. So maybe those tax cuts weren’t the golden ticket—just an overhyped sequel we didn’t need.

Move over gold bars and oil barrels; Bitcoin just lapped you—ten times over. Analyst Axel Adler recently hit up X (you know, Twitter’s new personality) to drop some stats that’ll make traditional investors clutch their pearls. Over the last five years, Bitcoin has outperformed gold and oil by a jaw-dropping 10x.

Yep, the once-skeptical “magic internet money” has transformed into the prom king of asset classes, charming everyone from hedge fund managers to that one cousin who won’t shut up about crypto. High returns? Check. Hedge against market chaos? Double check. Meanwhile, gold and oil are over here wondering did they become the Blockbuster to Bitcoin’s Netflix?

Trump’s heading to California to take on wildfires, but it seems like he might be walking into a different kind of blaze. Waiting for him at the tarmac? Governor Gavin Newsom—California’s favorite hair gel enthusiast—ready for what we’re sure will be a warm (and probably awkward) welcome.

Newsom says he’s “looking forward” to thanking the president for his visit. Sure, Gavin. That’ll happen right after pigs fly over the Pacific. Given their history, this meeting has all the makings of a reality TV reunion episode—tense smiles, subtle shade, and just enough drama to keep us hooked. Stay tuned for whether the wildfires or the political fireworks get extinguished first.

Embassy flagpoles just got a wardrobe change, courtesy of Trump’s State Department and Secretary of State Marco Rubio. The new policy? Only the American flag gets to fly high at U.S. embassies. That means no more rainbow banners or BLM flags sharing the spotlight—just Old Glory doing its thing.

It’s a bold move that’ll have critics clutching their pearls and supporters cheering for some good ol’ patriotic consistency. The policy does make a few exceptions, though: POW/MIA flags are still in, along with flags for wrongful detainees. But if you were hoping for embassies to double as social justice art galleries, it’s safe to say those days are behind us.

Because, as they say, when in doubt, stick with the stars and stripes. Fewer debates, fewer headaches, and let’s be honest—it’s hard to beat.

Netflix just dropped its Q4 2024 earnings, and investors are grinning ear to ear. With an operating income north of $10 billion and a juicy 16% revenue bump, Wall Street is loving the numbers. But for us mere mortals, there’s a plot twist: Netflix wants more of your money.

That’s right, subscription prices are on the rise—again. Premium plans could hit $25, so you’ll now be paying luxury prices to rewatch The Office for the 14th time. Looks like “Netflix and chill” is turning into “Netflix and cry over your bank statement.”

In classic Trump fashion, Monday brought a mic drop moment for federal hiring. The new executive order scraps the so-called “equity” approach in favor of good ol’ merit. Translation: no more demographic quotas—just a focus on skills and experience.

Critics are already sharpening their talking points, but for Trump supporters, this is a return to common sense hiring. Love it or hate it, this move is bound to ruffle feathers while bringing a fresh batch of resumes to the table.

Nothing stirs up controversy like a sweet treat with a side of politics. A California doughnut shop is in hot water after the co-owner’s startup dropped a cool $1M on Trump’s inaugural committee. Let’s just say the sprinkles are flying on social media.

Some customers are swearing off the shop faster than you can say “maple bacon,” while others are lining up to show support. Either way, this doughnut drama proves one thing: in 2025, everything is political—even your breakfast.

Renowned economist Mohamed El-Erian is sounding the alarm on Trump 2.0’s economic playbook, and it’s not looking pretty. Persistent inflation and global economic slowdowns could make revitalizing the economy as challenging as paying off a maxed-out credit card with minimum payments.

While Trump’s policies are known for shaking things up, El-Erian warns that these hurdles could turn the economic hype into a game of high-stakes limbo: How low can growth go?

The SEC’s crypto crackdown in 2024 went… soft? Cornerstone Research reports that under Gary Gensler, enforcement actions dropped by 30%, from 47 cases in 2023 to just 33 last year. For an agency that’s spent years chasing digital assets like Pokémon, this slowdown is raising eyebrows.

Critics say it’s a sign of regulatory fatigue, while crypto bros are popping champagne. Either way, it seems the SEC spent 2024 chilling out—and the crypto world is definitely taking note.

Let’s talk taxes—the ultimate necessary evil. For decades, Americans have grumbled about handing over their hard-earned cash to Uncle Sam, and now Trump’s floating the idea of waving goodbye to federal and income tax altogether. Bold? Absolutely. Plausible? Well, let’s just say the jury’s out on whether this is a groundbreaking policy shift or just prime-time political theater.

First, the good news: eliminating income tax sounds like a dream come true for anyone who’s ever stared at their paycheck and wondered why it looks like it went through a paper shredder. Imagine keeping all your earnings. Your wallet would finally stop feeling like a house guest who overstays their welcome every two weeks. For middle-class Americans, it’s the equivalent of getting a yearly bonus just for existing.

But here’s the kicker—no taxes, no federal revenue. That’s a bit of a logistical problem, given that the government still needs to, you know, operate. Infrastructure doesn’t build itself, and the military probably isn’t taking IOUs. Trump’s hinted at implementing alternative revenue streams, like a national sales tax or tariffs on imports. Sounds great, except “alternative” can often translate to “you’ll still pay, just in a different way.”

And let’s not forget about Congress, the true kings and queens of gridlock. To end federal and income tax, Trump would need more than executive orders and catchy slogans. He’d need lawmakers to agree on a new tax system—a tall order considering these folks can barely agree on what to order for lunch.

Then there’s the optics. Opponents will undoubtedly frame this as a Robin Hood-in-reverse situation, claiming it benefits the wealthy and leaves the middle and lower classes footing the bill through higher sales taxes. Never mind that the current tax system is about as easy to navigate as a hedge maze in the dark.

Still, there’s something undeniably “Trumpian” about the idea. It’s bold, it’s headline-grabbing, and it forces a national conversation about the tax system’s many flaws. Whether it’s actually feasible is another question entirely.

So, can Trump end federal and income tax? The short answer: not without a Herculean effort, a lot of creativity, and a Congress that suddenly decides to work together. The long answer: if anyone can make it a talking point, it’s Trump. Love him or hate him, the man knows how to put big, ambitious ideas on the table—and make us argue about them until we’re blue (or red) in the face.

For now, maybe keep that W-2 handy…just in case.