Sunday April 27th

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This week was a beautiful mashup of global snubs, judicial gaslighting, meme warfare, and greasy American glory. Let’s dig in.

First off, the Vatican pulled a fast one and tried to give President Trump a third-tier seat at the upcoming Pope’s funeral. Yep, the man who is attempting to reshape the global economy, broker peace deals, and keep NATO in check is apparently 3rd tier material. It’s a subtle dig—or as the media calls it, “diplomatic seating.” But let’s be honest: Trump could be in the parking lot and still outshine half the room.

Meanwhile, Subaru decided it was done with the U.S. and quietly slipped out the side door. We’d mourn the loss, but no one noticed or cared. Sorry, granola gang, you’ll have to get your all-wheel drive from somewhere that doesn’t hate American jobs.

China, never one to miss a propaganda opportunity, has stepped up its meme game—mocking America and our politicians across their social media platforms. Yes, the CCP is now trolling us like a 15-year-old with Wi-Fi..

In domestic news that surprises no one: Baltimore, Maryland was officially named the dirtiest city in America. Shocked? We were only surprised it beat out L.A. and New York. Apparently, the competition was tight, but Charm City clinched it with a perfect combo of crime, trash, and broken streetlights.

Oh—and someone in East Hampton dropped over $12 million on a stunning cottage only to immediately bulldoze it. Because nothing says “I care about sustainability” like demolishing beachfront property for fun.

Back in D.C., the federal bench blocked Trump’s latest attempt to ensure that only American citizens vote in American elections. A truly wild idea—democracy for Americans. Naturally, judges appointed by people who can't define "border" said “no thanks.”

And finally, in news that still gives us hope for this country—Buffalo Wild Wings has brought back their unlimited wingdeal. Because nothing unites us like 12 spicy wings, a cold beer, and the free market.

Let’s roll, Patriots. It's red, it's bold, it's unapologetically American—just the way we like it.

Poll Time: With U.S. economic output hitting a 16-month low and inflation showing no signs of letting up, what’s your current strategy?

Todays Mood:

The Rundown This Week:

Scammers Stole $16.6B in 2024—But Sure, Let’s Ban Gas Stoves Instead

According to the FBI, online fraud hit an all-time high last year with $16.6 billion in losses—because nothing says “efficient government” like letting Nigerian princes rob grandma while we regulate your dishwasher. Seniors were hit the hardest, losing nearly $5 billion, while the rest of us just got phishing emails and a lecture about digital literacy. Maybe instead of hiring 87,000 new IRS agents, we could get a few folks to lock down cyberspace? Just a thought.

China to U.S. Trade Allies: Side With Trump, and You’ll Pay the Price

Beijing just ditched the peace-and-love act, warning countries that dare cut trade deals with the U.S. they’ll face “reciprocal” punishment. The tantrum comes as Trump prepares to lock in new agreements designed to box China out of global logistics and manufacturing. The message from Xi’s crew? Help America, and we’ll make your economy cry. The message from Trump? America First—and about time.

Dave Ramsey Does the Math… So You Don’t Get Robbed by Your Mortgage

Turns out chasing that “low monthly payment” on a 30-year mortgage could quietly drain tens of thousands from your wallet over time—who knew? (Spoiler: Dave did.) Ramsey’s latest PSA warns that stretching your mortgage just to afford a shinier car in the driveway might not be the MAGA-money move you thought it was. His advice? Don’t let compound interest turn your American Dream into an overpriced nap.

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Housing Prices Are Falling—Even in Texas (But Don’t Blame Trump, Blame the Fed)

After years of “blink-and-it’s-sold” listings and $800K fixer-uppers, the housing market is finally exhaling—and some cities are taking the hit. Prices are down in 10 major metros, with Texas and Florida leading the charge. Naturally, legacy media wants to pin this on Trump’s tariffs (because of course they do), but maybe—just maybe—it’s got more to do with sky-high rates and reckless Fed games. Good news? If you've been priced out, your shot at that freedom-loving backyard just got closer.

Google to Workers: Get Back in the Office or Get Out

In a shocking twist no one saw coming (except literally everyone), Google has told some remote workers to either show up three days a week—or start updating that LinkedIn profile. Yep, the same company that once promised pajama productivity is now leading the back-to-the-office charge with all the charm of a 2008 eviction notice. Some of these employees were previously approved to work fully remote, but apparently, that memo’s expired. Welcome to the new normal: commute, coffee, comply—or collect a box.

What Else You Might’ve Missed:

No More Rainbow Mac & Cheese? RFK Jr’s FDA Declares War on Food Dyes

In a move straight out of the Organic Moms Facebook Group, RFK Jr’s FDA just announced it's pulling the plug on eight artificial food dyes—aka the stuff that makes your snacks glow like a rave. Commissioner Dr. Marty Makary called it a win against the “toxic soup” in our kids' lunchboxes, citing studies linking dyes to hyperactivity. Translation: Your neon gummies and electric blue cereal may soon look...normal. RIP to food that glows in the dark.

Last Call: TGI Fridays Fizzles Out, One Long Island Iced Tea at a Time

Once the king of mozzarella sticks and mall parking lot margaritas, TGI Fridays has gone from 600 locations to just 85—and no, that’s not a typo. The chain that basically invented the “boozy after-work hangout” is now barely hanging on, a casualty of pandemic shutdowns, changing tastes, and America discovering it can make bad cocktails at home. It’s the end of an era—pour one out (preferably something neon and served in a mason jar).

Solar Surge: Texas Is Beating California at Its Own Game

Turns out the Lone Star State isn’t just drilling oil—it’s also soaking up sunshine like it’s prepping for a Freedom-Powered future. According to the SEIA, Texas led the U.S. in solar installations again last year, proving you can love gas, guns, and gigawatts at the same time. With a 21% national jump in solar capacity and 66% of new power coming from the sun, America’s energy game is diversifying—just don’t tell the climate crowd Texas is doing it better.

Student Loans Are Back—and This Time, They’re Taking Your Paycheck

Hope you enjoyed the pause while it lasted. The Trump administration just dropped the hammer: no more mass forgiveness, no more delays, and yes—they're coming for your paycheck. Education Secretary Linda McMahon made it clear that starting May 5, over 5 million Americans in default could face wage garnishment. The message? Pay up or get docked. Welcome back to reality, brought to you by fiscal responsibility and zero patience for Biden-era bailouts.

California Passes Japan in GDP—Still Can’t Keep the Lights On

Governor Gavin Newsom is popping champagne after California officially leapfrogged Japan to become the world’s 4th largest economy. With a $4.1 trillion GDP, he says the Golden State is “setting the pace” globally. Bold claim from a place where businesses are fleeing, taxes are sky-high, and half the population’s Googling “how to move to Texas.” Sure, California’s rich—just don’t ask where the money actually goes.

Trump Crashes NFL Draft (Sort Of) — Crowd Loses It Over Savage Bears Diss

Lambeau Field turned into MAGA-palooza when Packers legend Clay Matthews hijacked the mic at the NFL Draft to deliver a very presidential message: “The Bears still suck.” Matthews claimed he’d just gotten off the phone with President Trump—and honestly, no one questioned it. The crowd erupted, Goodell winced, and somewhere in Chicago, a tear rolled down a Bears fan’s cheek. Football, patriotism, and perfectly timed trolling? Now that’s how you open a draft.

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Closing Thoughts:

Has DOGE Been a Win for America But a Disaster for Tesla?

Here’s the question circling the Beltway and the break room: Was Trump’s Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) a bold win for the country—but a costly distraction for Elon Musk?

Let’s break it down. DOGE was Trump’s vision—cut the red tape, drain the bureaucratic swamp, and run government like a business (a profitable one). When Musk took the reins, he didn’t hold back. He trimmed waste like a Tesla production line, torched duplicate agencies, and made every government dollar work harder than a Tesla intern on launch day. Americans actually saw things move—fast. Agencies delivered. Budgets shrank. The DMV line? Practically patriotic.

But Wall Street didn’t love it. Tesla shares slipped as Musk turned his attention away from car batteries and toward budget battles. Production lagged. Shareholders got twitchy. The media threw its usual fit. Cue panic.

Still, Musk made a choice. He knew he could’ve played it safe, padded his portfolio, and left the swamp to simmer. But he didn’t. He put America first—even if it meant his bottom line took a hit. That’s the kind of leadership we don’t see much anymore.

Elon didn’t just run a department—he ran it like a mission. Not for profit, but for principle. And in the process, he reminded a nation what it looks like when someone trades personal gain for public good.

Call him bold. Call him controversial. But let’s be honest: Elon Musk should be recognized as nothing short of a national icon.